Saturday, March 29, 2008

plunging in

I have been doing yoga for years. I can count them. Four and a half years. By now I'm pretty strong. Through the years different areas of my body have required attention. One are has been tense and sore and then I will pass that, move on to the next area. It started with ankles and tops of my feet. Next wrists and then shoulders. On to arms, triceps. Upper hip--by my hip bones. Now it is outer glutes. My body has changed a ton. I always had aspirations to be like Linda Hamilton in The Terminator. I'm not like her even now, but I'm strong. Anyway. Today I was doing crow posture. Poised on only my hands, bending my arms at the elbow, balancing with my knees at my arm pits. It's a weird posture that, you would think, requires a lot of arm and wrist strength. Which it does. But once you have that (it comes very quickly if you do yoga regularly) then it requires much more core muscle strength. And you can feel it as you begin to balance there. My solar plexus gather all together into a knot of energy. I have the strength I need. I can feel it as I curl around myself, poised. I balance, the very tip of one toe barely touching the ground. I can't quite make that mental leap to pull it all the way up. That is all that is left. The one thing. That transition from knowing that I am strong enough to trusting that I am strong enough.

I've never been very comfortable with transitions. I have never been very skilled at that final leap of faith. Like plunging into a freezing cold lake. Or immersing myself in a hot shower. Or dropping into flow. I've been trying to mind those gaps. Place my attention and my effort there.

As Always,

Writing Exercise:
Write about something you hate. Write about it with feeling. Put the timer on for ten minutes and don't stop for anything. Now switch it around and pretend you love it. Writing with feeling. Spend ten minutes at it. Now how did it feel? What are you grateful for?