Thursday, March 27, 2008

vacuuming

I once wrote a lot about vacuuming. Although back when I was writing about it, vacuuming and writing were about neck and neck in the amount of time I spent on them. The draw to vacuuming was because of the metaphor it serves in my life. The literal sucking away of the accumulated dust. Not only does the debris accumulate beneath my refrigerator and between the cushions of the couch but in the corners of my mind. The ideas and thoughts begin to pile up and I need to clear them away.

I did some vacuuming today. Literal vacuuming. At this point in my life writing is winning over vacuuming. I spend much more time doing it and as a consequence there are many less cobwebs in my mind then there are in my house. I did the couch cushions today and I found my son's wallet with his library card in it. It had been missing for a two years. It has not been that long since I vacuumed, but shall I say I did a very thorough job today. I've missed that wallet the past few times I have vacuumed the couch. My housekeeping habits are at the bare minimum lately. But my habits of thoughts kind of go on and on.(as anyone who reads this blog is a witness). I wonder what I'm missing when I do my writing sweep everyday. I have been wondering if I am trying too hard.

When I was little, I used to dream of vacuuming and feel the weight as I pushed that handle and slid the beaters across the floor. I could feel the vibration and I could watch myself from way above me. I was above myself but also I had grown large. The wind from the vacuum moved through me. I was a huge echoing chamber. Without contact to the world. Too large to move through any door. I was so big that people around me couldn't notice me. It scared me. It was a recurring nightmare of a dream. But, there are times, like now, that I wonder about it. To me, now, it sounds a lot like flow. I wonder how that young girl that was me could have felt it and how she came to fear it. And why on earth is it correlated to vacuuming.

As Always(confused),
Tina

Writing Exercise: Write concretely about an everyday chore.