March 25/Third Quarter Moon
March 25/Third Quarter Moon
grandma glenna's birthday
We have reached the third quarter moon of this lunation. The light reflected from the moon is getting smaller as we head into this last week of the waning crescent. My grandmother is in the hospital after a fall and her blood pressure and heart rate is fluctuating. It is her 93rd birthday today. They say perhaps her body is shutting down. All I can think of is her hands. I will go tomorrow to see her in hopes of holding her hand one more time. Feel her hand squeeze mine. She has beautiful sturdy long-fingered hands and how can they not continue in this world forever?
My grandma loved to get her hands in the dirt. She loved flowers. She loved me. In the past few years, on our mountains upon mountains of video calls to her, I finally saw how she teased and flirted with the men in her life, even after she couldn’t keep the other facts together, she would love up the men with her teasing. She’d waggle her finger at the camera, “Is that Will I see over there?” Finding something to comment on, to love and smile and laugh about.
And of the women, she took care of them. Starting with my aunt Susie, Grandma cared for her while she was dying of leukemia. After I was born, she took on Baby Tina while mom finished up her schooling. When we moved away, she’d take Becka and I for long weekends, caring for both us and my mom. Rachel returned for her week-long visits at the farm with grandma after they had gone east. I will always remember Grandma caring for my Great Grandmother’s, her Mother-in-law’s, feet, kneeling in front of her recliner and carefully packing her toes with gauze. I can see Grandma’s hands washing and wiping and holding everyone.
Grandma experienced a lot of tragedy. Losing her youngest daughter, Susie, when she was only nine years old. She lost her husband when he was only fifty. Through it all, she remained very grounded. Getting her strength from the land and from her loved ones. It also seemed to me that she got her strength FOR her loved ones, so she could be there for them when she needed to. She, alongside her son and granddaughters, lost her daughter-in-law. My grandma was there to support my uncle and his daughters, my cousins. She also lost her mother to Alzheimers, just as I have lost mine, even though they remain long after they are gone, to be cared for. I only barely remember my grandmother caring for her mother.
She would try anything once and proclaim it “different.” And some would say that “different” meant grandma didn’t like something, but I think they are wrong about that. What she meant was she could really taste it, really appreciate the way each experience of something can be different. She was someone who would sink into an experience and be there for it.
And she had many amazing experiences. So many photos of her with her Great Grandchildren. And to look at the photographs that she took over the course of her life! The ones you didn’t even know she was taking. The ones of the family. The ones of my babies and all babies that she had known and loved and squeezed with her beautiful sturdy hands. My mother took her to Norway, Costa Rica, Panama, the San Blas Islands, drove her cross-country by way of the Canadian Rockies. She visited Mexico many times with my uncle and family. Wine country on many occasions. Pizza farm. The Dam Store. Oakland, California. Mill Valley. Washington DC. Car trips with Loren.
And Loren. Long time family friend. His wife, Grandma’s best friend, while he was grandpa’s best friend, after both their life partners’ deaths, they became sweetheart’s until the end. And she had such appreciation in these last years in assisted living and now memory care of those who have cared for her.
Thankfully as she and my mother have descended into their own small worlds they have missed the others’ descent. Neither has been in a position to care for the other and that would have been much harder on them if either had the capacity for that awareness. As it is, they have made much time for each other and have had many moments of joy in the past few years. In honor of my Grandma’s Birthday, I have made composed some TikToks from the video the past year or so. The link is below. Please feel free to follow for more if you do that TikTok thing.
Showcasing a picnic with Grandma’s china:
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Some of our walking together:
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Videos with hands:
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More soon.
Much love, Tina
Another beautiful post, Tina. Blessings to you and your Grandma Glenna--may her transition be easy, surrounded by love. --Kris
Tina, you've made me think about the line of women in my family and I thank you for that. Glenna is such an inspiration for so many of us. For all the sorrow she lived, she sure found the joy, too. Love to you all.