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New Moon/June 28
and my anniversary
It is both the new moon today and the anniversary of Josh and my wedding. I wrote this last Saturday as we are currently in the Boundary Waters celebrating 24 years together. I set it to publish while we are gone. (Singing a Tara that technology and trip all go as planned for those of you that know I do that.)
We got married at Grandma’s, on the farm, right in the place where the trailer that my dad bought for us to live in once stood. The place where I spent my first 6 months. Do I really have a first memory from that time? In my crib, looking up at familiar faces, wanting desperately to be picked up. Or was it a dream? Perhaps they are the same thing.
We tried our best to make our wedding interfaith, as Josh is Jewish and I grew up Lutheran of Scandinavian descent. Mostly Norwegian. But as Grandpa Chuck used to say, “Poor little, baby, one fourth swede.” I new it was a teasing joke but it took me a long time to understand the cultural rivalry behind it. Truth of the matter is there are many fractions of other European nationalities in my blood and maybe even more than a fourth Swedish. But all that said, there was not a lot of my cultural heritage that was visible to me beyond that teasing phrase. My Grandma Bernice, one half swede, did make lefse for us growing up. Now I sometimes do too. My Grandpa Ole had the Norwegian accent, despite being born and raised in Minnesota. I would say growing up with his Jewish heritage, Josh felt what culture was way more than I did, where I just thought everyone did and thought the way I did. It’s much easier to know where you come from when you are not of the majority culture here in this melting pot of America. Looking back on that young naive self now, I say, no harm, no foul. You can’t see the soup you swim in (mixing metaphors). And I was so willing and interested to learn and add richness. That is not to say my original life was not rich, it was undefined. And un-chosen. And I choose to do things on purpose.
Our wedding was a first lesson in how to choose and combine from our personal heritages practices that would pave our path together. Through music, thanks to Kris, Diane, and Bill/Will the Carport Band was formed. They brought us the Henry Kaiser and David Lindley Album, “The Sweet Sunny North” and Annbjørg Lien. They came together to play music at the wedding (and stayed together to play at my sister’s weddings and my parent’s rewedding and more). We hired a band for the dance from Iowa, Foot-Notes, who as it turned out had the same interfaith make up as we did. We built a chupa (see below) and broke a glass. We had a Judge officiant, and family friend who was Jewish and built Jewish aspects into the ceremony, including the Shehechianu, a prayer which honors all that brought us to this particular place and time. We ate salmon which seems important to both our heritages somehow and had Lefse as an after dancing snack (as we forgot to bring it out with the meal).
Please share with anyone you think may be interested. More soon.
Much love, Tina