Tina’s 2016-In-Review

Import from Watch Me Practice

I haven’t done this letter thing before, but this year is special and even though this is coming late in the month, it is a true assessment of some of my lessons and learning of 2016. I do this for myself and with the hope that my learning will be of benefit to others.

At the beginning of the year, I resolved to not resist gravity so much. Therefore this past year, I sat. I sat in parks, particularly Kenwood park. I sat in my bedroom. I sat in the sun porch. I started using timers and a cushion. I set aside a blanket. Sometimes I lay on my back, but mostly I stacked my spine perpendicular to the earth.

At some point this year I had a dream that a bear came right up and pressed herself against me while I stood frozen. I could feel the warm fur of her chest and belly. Her hot breath fanned my face as her saliva and sharp teeth smeared against my cheek. She and I breathed together, fast and panicked. This image haunted me again and again. During the sitting, I learned to stay with the fear and even enter into it. It becomes fragile when you do that, like a delicate piece of glass ready to break, and finally it dissipates as if it actually was made out of light and smoke. I declare 2016 the year of the mama bear.